Every day

is another victory, though it seems small the fact that you are still here is amazing. That you are still breathing, walking this earth, your heart is beating and you are alive. You might not have chosen to still be here but here you are, looking for the good things to live for – no matter how you’ve felt inside. That is so brave and I am so proud of you.

Catching up

Hey guys, I’ve been pretty absent from here lately and slack with posting but it’s for good reasons really because I’m feeling a whoooole lot better in myself than I have been for ages.

Sometimes what you really need is to be alone for a while, and to do you. Focus on yourself and your wellbeing for a change. It’s mad the difference that can make. To take care of your body and remove some of your worries – take a step back and see them for what they are. Survivable.

Just one step at a time. Instead of feeling like the top is endless and unreachable. It’s all about small victories.

Finally feeling like myself again.

It’s been a long time… but I’ve got the shine and motivation back for a change. Now to make it a regular habit to look after me. Even if it means secluding myself from certain habits, people and situations.

Listening to your body

When you look at yourself in the mirror, instead of thinking about how your body looks.. instead ask it how it feels.

How do you feel?

Are you stressed or anxious? Do you have physical pain? Is there a knot in your stomach? Are you feeling slow? Lethargic?

Are you taking care of yourself physically? Are you eating well, are you surrounding yourself with positive people and situations. Are you happy, where you are? If not… how can you take steps towards becoming happy?

Your mental health can really sneak up on you if you forget to care for your physical being. Something I’m now learning and pushing through. Even if you can’t bring yourself to exercise or eat perfectly, you can still drink plenty of water, maybe take a multivitamin each day and try not to eat too many naughty things! It won’t cure anything, but it can sure help how you feel on the inside.. which can impact your mental health in the most positive way.

Think about what your body needs to survive, and whether you are giving it exactly that, or if you’re failing to… why?

Solitude.. or isolation

Over the last… well I guess few weeks… maybe months… I don’t know really, I’ve been progressively isolating myself from those around me. In some ways by choice, and some accidental. I guess that the accidental isolation and failure to be there for some of the people that have needed me lead me to isolate myself further.

Lately it’s been the decision to avoid social media for a while… specifically I guess from Instagram and Facebook. There are toxic behaviours that social media platforms encourage. Vanity, ego, materialism, the overwhelming need for the approval of strangers. But it’s not real.

What is real is life outside of a screen, friends in real life (though of course – online friends also matter), life experiences, going out and experiencing it. And not going places or performing good deeds with the pure intention of posting it online for the gratification of others.

I’ve found since stepping away from these applications that my head is less muddled. I am more thoughtful, my memory is better, I am reading, thinking and choosing to learn to try to better myself. Reaching out to loved ones. Paying more attention to my intuition. Questioning how I want to move forward.

But I’m also seeing where I have been failing. Why some friendships have gone without contact for so long. How I have become someone I do not want to be. Sucked into that technological world, you forget about the things that really matter. How I have been running away from my demons, using distractions and not coming to terms with the shit cards I have been dealt this year.

But I’m proud that I’m stepping back from it now, before some of those that matter most to me disappear. I can now focus on facing what I have been running from, and rebuilding my relationship. I let it slip away before and consider myself so lucky to have a second chance at happiness with my partner of 3 years.

When you turn off your phone, or delete the apps and give yourself that solitude it can be a wonderful and fruitful thing – no wonder The Hermit card has brought me solace it is what I need the most 💗

Reflecting

~ I’ve been reflecting a lot recently, thinking back to who I was a year ago; letting anxiety rule my life constantly being in fear just to leave the house, focused all of my energy on being someone Im not for the benefit of other people, running away from who I am because it would mean facing up to the reality of depression.

instead boxing it all away and putting on a happy face to keep up appearances. It wasn’t until I burned out and hit rock bottom that I began to open up to the people in my life, also speaking openly about it on ig that I stopped feeling so secluded, like I was wrong or broken.

it just shows how important openly talking about mental health can be, because you begin to realise just how many people are affected too. Since opening up my relationships with those around me have strengthened, and I have been blessed with some of the most gorgeous, kind and wonderful human beings since I began posting it 🌷

those that have and continue to reach out to me over the last year have no idea truly how much love I have in my heart for you, we may not speak often but I consider you guys some of the dearest to me.

I don’t generally go into detail about the struggles I’ve dealt with mentally because I want to keep my social media a happy, but also an open place. There are good days and there are bad days, but they don’t define you as a person. You are worthy of both love and happiness, and sometimes the journey can begin by accepting who you are, that your mental health problems are a part of you, and knowing that you aren’t alone ~ #mh #mhawareness #youarenotalone

This blogs gonna be a mess…

until I get an idea of what and how to actually blog. I’ve started by uploading posts from my instagram account to kind of get rolling with what I want to share and express.

getting through the fear of posting personal details of your life is so scary, especially when those details are not necessarily happy or positive. but that’s why it’s best to do it here because this is not going to be a place of judgement.

anyways, lots of love until I can get this rolling…

💛